This update is long overdue, and honestly, so is my heart in this adoption process. I feel like a pregnant woman about 2 years past her due date at this point. Who knew it takes til kingdom come, to get all the stuff done???
Things were moving along so quickly at the beginning, I gotta admit I thought perhaps we would be one of those lucky ones that gets their adoption processed quickly and we would have a child in our arms by now.
Granted, we weren’t in a rush to begin with, and we knew we would need some time to prepare ourselves, mentally and emotionally for another child, so we didn’t push. We just kept at it, filling out papers and sending in money, little by little.
Until now the process has been pretty uneventful and monotonous which is probably why I haven’t written much about it. There wasn’t that much to report.
Until a few weeks ago.
We were in the middle of filling out forms and scheduling trainings for our adoption in Nicarauga, when were told by our agency that they were having some glitches with the system there. Supposedly there had been some fraud, and a major problem with one of their recent adoptions and they wanted us to know they were working hard to resolve it and to make sure that doesn’t happen again in the future.
And while this was concerning to us, it probably wouldn’t have fazed us, but it came on the heels of a major business deal falling through, and us not having the financing that we thought we did, to live and adopt overseas. We had had a deal on the table with a big flooring company, but when they realized it would include their top field guy, my husband, to be gone out of the country for a few months, they backed out of the contract.
We understood and so, we let it go. We knew this is what we’re supposed to do, so when it came down to it, we chose this. Adoption still felt better, so we didn’t push it, even when that became the reason our proposed plan/sale of the business fell through.
We were still standing strong on our decision to adopt, and that for whatever reason, it was supposed to be Nicarauga. Even after much conflict of opinions and solutions from others, and our own moments of wondering, it still felt right and peaceful to keep going.
The reality is that somewhere in all of that, business slowed down, and the jobs stopped coming in. In the past several weeks, J has had to pour all of his efforts into recouping and re-building the business, and trying to make up for lost time. He’s been working like a hound dog night and day, and I’m getting tired…
tired of the waiting.
I told a friend the other day, it feels like my foot has been hanging in mid-air for weeks, waiting to take the next step. A two-year OVERDUE PREGNANT WOMAN with her foot in the air, to be exact.
Yeah, not pretty.
So here’s where we’re at.
We both feel a shift, we’re just not sure where that is leading us. We agree that there has been (and needs to be) a change, but we don’t know for sure what that looks like.
And so, we’re asking the questions.
“Do we continue on this international adoption path, and trust that our physical and family needs will be provided, for that?
Do we start looking at another country that’s easier/less taxing on a family?
Do we pursue a domestic adoption, instead?
Or, and this is a big OR,
Do we let it go for now, and wait for better timing?
We both feel confident that there is still plenty of good to be found in this journey, we just need a little direction. We still believe that God is leading us into something wonderful and amazing, just not sure what that is, at the moment.
Would you pray and believe with us? Pray that we find our answers, and that we have peace with them. And also that I don’t panic or keel over, while my pregnant swollen foot is suspended in mid air.