Sweet baby boy,
How can it be a year since you came, face and fist, and eyes searching for your Mama’s? How can it be that you have been in my arms for this long and yet it feels like yesterday when I first held you?
A year since you did somersaults in my belly, and flipped face down, at the sound of my voice, asking you to? A year since I heard your cry and I first pulled you close?
Twelve months is not that long and yet you’ve already grown and learned so much.
How can it be that you’ve already learned how to crawl and smile, and stand on those wobbly little legs?? You’ve already learned to laugh at your daddy and to “run” away from your sister, so that she will chase you and that you’ll end up in a heap, giggling together.
You’ve learned that life is an adventure and that you’d rather be exploring. You’ve figured out that you’d rather be discovering, than sitting on your Mother’s lap. And that pulling drawers out is the best. thing. ever.
You’ve taught that NOTHING is impossible when you greet it with a smile, that love is everywhere when you look with an open heart. You’ve taught that it is better to explore and to get hurt, than it is, not to.
You’ve taught that life and love are always worth the risk. And that we should not be afraid.
We should not be afraid of the bleeding, and the big kids and the bottom of the cereal bowl. That there’s always forgiveness and there’s always more, and we should hold our hands open.
We should not hold back for fear. Of getting in the way, or of getting it wrong, because that’s how we learn and grow and get stronger.
You’ve taught that life is good, and that the best days are not ahead, or behind us. They are right now.
You’ve come and you’ve learned and you’ve taught so much.
You’ve come with determination and gusto, and wobbled your way into our hearts and our world, like a train rolling into a deep, jagged chasm. The raw protruding left by another we never got to meet.
You’ve come and interrupted my life in the most wonderful ways, and I am thankful that you did. I am deeply grateful for this ONE year, for it has been one of the most challenging and the most beautiful, because of you.
I can only imagine how many more lessons, how much more beauty and adventure awaits us, in the days and years ahead. I can’t wait to hold your hand and run together.